“The making of friends, who are real friends,
is the best token we have of a man’s success in life.”

– Edward Everett Hale –

“True friendship is at the core of any happy life.
If our family is our root system, our friends are our fellow branches. We’re all striving together, supporting
one another, providing shade and comfort.”

 – Addie Johnson –

The fourth regret of the dying is, not surprisingly about one of the most important relationships in our life… friendship. Let’s take Key Steps this week to nurture these special relationships and the incredible people who support us, love us and add immense richness and value unconditionally.

#4 – I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

 Your “Key Steps” Coaching for the week ahead:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone seems to miss their friends when they are dying.

Who are your real friends? Are you nurturing your relationship with them? I can count my real friends (not the facebook ones ) on my fingers. They are fierce friends who are prepared to tell me the ‘good’ stuff and the ‘bad’. They hold up the mirror so I can see myself more clearly. They nurture and support me when I need it most (even when I deserve it least). They are rare and precious gems that I am so blessed to have. I have stayed in touch with mine, have you stayed in touch with yours? What friendships do you need to spend more time nurturing? Who do you need to value and appreciate more? Make the call, book the dinner, arrange the coffee… Do it NOW and…

 ”be the difference that makes the difference“

“The workaholic maintains a frantic schedule. He is consistently preoccupied with performance. He finds it difficult to refuse additional responsibilities. He is unable to relax. If someone you know exhibits these characteristics,he or she is probably a workaholic.”

– Bill Hybels –

“For workaholics, all the eggs of self-esteem are in the basket of work.”

– Judith M Bardwick –

Last week we looked at the biggest regret of the dying (you’ll see I’ve kept it listed for you below). The top five regrets were gleaned from palliative care specialist R Kelly and, although they are common sense, they are unfortunately not always common practise. Many of us subconsciously seem to believe that we will live forever and so make decisions based on that illusion. When those who were close to death were asked what they regretted most about their lives, common themes repeatedly surfaced. Let’s see if you’ve guessed what the second biggest regret is and take Key Steps to overcome it…

#2 – I wish I didn’t work so hard

Your “Key Steps” Coaching for the week ahead:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard. This came from every male patient that Kelly nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

Are you guilty of this one? Do you spend more time at the office than you do with your loved ones? Do you often prioritise work over your personal needs? I know I am guilty of this one. I love my work and, because it doesn’t always feel like work, I can sometimes forget to draw the line. I can easily fall into the trap of neglecting myself to give to others. This might sound noble, but it’s not. It’s foolish as I’m no good to others if I am not taking care of myself first. This is a lesson I learnt many years ago and it’s one that still challenges me today.

I have committed this year to keeping the balance that I know is healthy for me and to make enough time to be with those I love and to do things I love doing. Can you commit to doing that too? By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income (or habits and activities) that you think you do. And maybe you can simply work smarter and not harder? By simplifying your life, you can create more space in your life, become happier and more open to new opportunities and maybe even ones more suited to your new lifestyle. It’s up to you to take Key Steps to…

“be the difference that makes the difference“